Here I am again, in this place again. The same old desperate prayers I’ve prayed for years. Do you ever tire of my pleas?

Sometimes I think life is like a merry-go-round. It’s the same place, the same people, just at different angles. I’m forever chasing symmetry. I am looking for balance, yearning for something. Something that will make it work and make sense. Something to make this all feel complete. Whole. Pleasing to the eye. Pleasing to soul.

We are symmetrical beings. It’s in our nature. The light and the dark. The male and female. Yen and yang. Birth and death. Every beginning must have an end; every action an opposite and equal reaction. We are created for balance. This is why we cannot truly understand the infinite nature of God. Infinity and eternity are not symmetrical.

In this search, I chase myself through an E.M Escher world. Back through open doors, round and round up stairways that connect back down and a door that leads back up to the place I last belonged.

And through it all, I’m hanging on to hope. Hanging on to an idea. Hanging on to every word you’ve said. And yet, here I go again. Fighting through the brush, under the sizzling summer sun. Then I watch leaves turn vibrant red, and then suddenly, the cheap foam sandals have given way to crisp, warm jackets and wintry drinks. And yet I fight on. Chasing symmetry.